Monday, 28 November 2011

Ranch House Casserole

What the hell is going on with Kraft Dinner these days?

When I was growing up, there were two kinds: original and spiral. Nowadays, you can get Extra Creamy, White Cheddar, Whole Wheat, Flax Omega-3, High Fibre, Three Cheese, Alfredo, and even KD made from cauliflower.

If there's one thing cakers don't deal well with, it's variety. So don’t even think about making this dish with anything other than KD original. As my grandmother once said, “To gild refined gold, to paint the lily, to throw a perfume on the violet, to smooth the ice, or add another hue unto the rainbow, or with taper-light to seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish, is wasteful and ridiculous excess.”

True dat, granny.

1 package Kraft Dinner
1 can Cream of Mushroom soup
¼ cup milk
½ cup canned sliced mushrooms (I used the whole can)
1 cup hot, cooked peas

Heat over to 350°. Prepare Kraft Dinner as directed on package. Add soup and milk and combine thoroughly. Fold in mushrooms and peas. Place in casserole dish. Bake for 20 minutes.

Source: Church of the Hosannas Centennial Cookbook, Hyde Park, ON

Monday, 21 November 2011

Chicken Crescent Squares

If the Italians have tomato sauce and the Urkranians have borscht, then cakers can claim Pillsbury Crescent Roll dough as one of the fundamental building blocks of our culinary heritage.

Cakers use it for everything. We top potpies with it. We wrap it around weiners. We stick a marshmallow in it and call it dessert. Heck, I’ve even used it a few times to repair dry wall.

These Chicken Crescent Squares pack a punch with a rich buttery exterior juxtaposed with a creamy, savoury interior. And who said croutons are just for iceberg salads? Play on, player.


1 8 ounce package Pillsbury crescent rolls
3 ounces cream cheese, softened
2 teaspoons melted butter or margarine
2 cups cubed cooked chicken
salt and pepper to taste
2 teaspoons milk
1 tablespoon onion, chopped
crumbled croutons or stuffing mix, combined with a little butter

Heat oven to 350°. Spray a cookie sheet with Pam. In bowl, mix cream cheese, margarine or butter, chicken, seasoning, milk and onion. Divide crescent rolls into 4 large squares. Fill each square with the chicken mixture and fold the square up over the filling. Seal well, making sure there are no leaks. Sprinkle tops with croutons. Bake for 20-25 minutes.

(Note: The dough is perforated and more rectangular than square, so it can be a little finicky to work with. But you'll do just fine. I know it.)

Source: The Best of Enbridge

Monday, 14 November 2011

No Bake Chocolate Haystacks

I don’t know what your idea of heaven is, but for me, it’s a church bazaar. And with Christmas around the corner, there are more church bazaars going on now than you can shake a cabbage roll at.

I’m talking individual turkey potpies in foil pie plates, mammoth aluminum coffee percolators, and craft tables offering up knitted slippers with pom poms and tea cozies.

Without a doubt, you’ll find these chocolate haystacks on a bake table, arranged on a Styrofoam meat tray – washed, of course (cakers aren’t fond of E. coli) – lovingly made by a Christian woman in open-toe sandals. Mark my words: they will taste like the work of an angel.

½ cup butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
½ cup milk
3 cups quick cooking rolled oats
1 cup shredded coconut
1 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons cocoa
1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine butter, sugar and milk in saucepan. Boil for exactly 3 minutes and add remaining ingredients. Blend lightly and drop by teaspoon on waxed paper. Chill.

(Note: The mixture got a little dry, especially towards the end. You may need to mold some with your hands.)

Source: Culinary Creations Down the Line, Interprovincial Pipeline Company

Monday, 7 November 2011

Asian Coleslaw

If there’s one thing that cakers are most accused of doing, it’s bastardizing other cultures.

Cakers slap spaghetti sauce on an english muffin and call it “pizza.” We open up a can of pineapple to make something “Hawaiian.” We top a casserole with Doritos and suddenly, it’s Mexican fiesta time.

In this week’s recipe, we add Mr. Noodles to cole slaw to make it "Asian."

Look, I’m not saying any of this is right, but at least cakers are joining hands with the world in celebration of the cultural mosaic that unites us all.


Sort of.

OK, maybe not.

On a side note, did you know a package of Mr. Noodles cost 38 cents? When was the last time you bought anything for 38 cents?

2 packages Mr. Noodles, chicken flavour
1 package cole slaw mix
½ cup green pepper, chopped
3-4 green onions, chopped
½ cup slivered almonds, toasted
1 cup sunflower seeds

Dressing:
¾ cup oil
1/3 cup white vinegar
½ cup sugar
2 packages soup base mix from Mr. Noodles

Mix dressing ingredients. In a large bowl, crush the Mr. Noodles in hands. Add the rest of the ingredients except for sunflower seeds. Pour over dressing and let marinade for several hours. Toss in sunflower seeds before serving.

Source: recipe card (I realize that the typo in "Asian" doesn't help that whole "joining hands/cultural mosaic" thing.)