Monday, 28 October 2013

Soda Cracker Squares

There are times we hope no one will see us. We may be picking our nose at a red light. Or wearing those jogging pants with the questionable stains. For me, it’s after work. Why? Because I inhale so many soda crackers while waiting for dinner, it’s embarrassing. I’m paranoid someone’s going to put a hidden camera in my kitchen and put me on “World’s Scariest Videos.”

I wanted to call these Soder Cracker Squares because I suspect many elderly cakers pronounce it that way. Hang out in the mall food court on a Tuesday afternoon and chances are you’ll hear words like “zink” inside of “sink” or “warsh” instead of “wash” or “padaydas” instead of “potatoes.” As in, “Let me give myself a warsh in the kitchen zink before I peel the padaydas.” (Pray that you’re never, ever on the receiving end of that sentence.)

While these squares are a little on the sweet side, the soder crackers add a punch of saltiness that keeps you coming back for more. And that instant coffee gives you a much-needed kick (if the sugar don’t do the trick). Now excuse while I go get me a drink of soder pop.

Melt
1 small package chocolate chips
½ cup peanut butter
1 tablespoon butter
Add
1/3 cup cold instant coffee
1 ½ cups icing sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
35-40 broken, salted soda crackers (See note)
Mix and press into a greased 8”x8” pan. Keep in fridge.

Icing:
Icing sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 tablespoon shortening
1 tablespoon butter
salt and cream

Note: 1 column


Source: 20th Anniversary Cookbook of the Mount Royal United Church, Saskatoon










Before you go!
My novel, Natural Order, has made it to the Top 40 books for CBC's Canada Reads 2014! If you can spare a moment, please consider swinging by the Canada Reads site and cast a vote for it before November 3. (Titles are in alphabetical order.) There's a porcupine meatball in it if you do.
Thanks!
Brian

17 comments:

  1. Wow, you've been posting some good stuff lately. This is another recipe I might just have to make. Not being a huge fan of soder crackers, I think I might substitute Ritz crackers.
    Do you have to use instant coffee? Or can it be the real stuff? What a minute, what am I saying? Of COURSE it has to be instant; it's a Caker recipe.
    Oddly, the accent you report sounds suspiciously like the unfortunate Baltimore accent down here.
    P.S. Voted for Natural Order, not for the potential Porcupine Meatball, but because it deserves to win.

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    1. Hmm. I think Ritz crackers might be good in this. Yes, please use instant coffee. Who's got the time to wait for coffee to drip? Between my craft making and hula hoop lessons, I sure don't.
      Thanks for your vote. Much appreciated!

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    2. We "worsh" things in Pittsburgh, too. I know I've told Veg that the Yinzer and Bawlmer accents are super-similar. It's too damn easy for me to slip into it when I'm a couple of martinis in.

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  2. Perhaps I can make you feel better about yourself...sometimes I do a sleeve of crackers *instead* of dinner. I'm somehow always astounded afterwards too.

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    1. So long as you include a few Kraft singles with those crackers, you've got nothing to be ashamed about, Debra.

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    2. Too funny - I totally do! I bend/crack each of those suckers into six smaller slices of cheese so they'll fit the crackers just right :) Now I know what to have for dinner tonight...

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    3. I do the exact same thing. Getting one slice into six perfectly sized squares is an art form.

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  3. Great commentary today Brian. You are so right... what is it about old people and mispronunciations? I remember two real doozies from my Grandma who would often ask if I wanted some "Tager Tager" ice cream or some Chef Boyardee "Raviola".
    And you're not alone Brian and Debra both. Who hasn't hunkered down with a sleeve of saltines. That's a standard winter comfort food snack ( ok... or spring, summer, fall...)
    Going to vote for Natural Order on CBC right after I'm done here!

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    1. I can't even tell you how many words and names my mom butchers. For example, she calls "Toys R Us" "Toys For Us." It mean, it's an "r" for god's sake! How can you manage to screw that up?
      As soon as you typed the word "raviola," somewhere in the world, an Italian cringed.
      Thanks for the vote!

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  4. I get the saltines w. chocolate & peanut butter, but I can't fathom why these need icing!

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    1. Oh, just because cakers love to add more sugar to things. Why, we even put icing on our sugar cubes before plunking them into our coffee. Which explains all the caker dentists.

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  5. How much icing sugar, how much salt, how much cream, and who wants to eat shortening?

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    1. Well, about a fistful of icing sugar, a pinkie nail of salt and a thimble of milk. Does that help? Shortening is delicious! I enjoy it on my toast. Who needs Nutella?

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  6. How about "turlet" for "toilet"? Or, is that just a Cape Breton thing?

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    1. That's a good one, Jane. And please, folks - never give yourself a warsh in the turlet. Stick to the kitchen zink.

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  7. Went to the CBC website and got all side tracked by Jian....isn't he just a little cutie? I finally did manage to vote for your book....hope you make the top 10...Good Luck!

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    1. Thanks, Polly. I'm glad you were able to pull your eyes away from Jian long enough to vote.

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