Monday, 16 December 2013

Edible Cranberry Candles


How many times have you smelt a candle and thought, “That smells so good, I want to eat it?” Folks, don’t. Wax is awfully hard to scrape off teeth. I’m speaking from experience.

I was sent this recipe for edible “candles” by reader Keri and wanted to try it. I haven’t had much success with JELL-O before. (See Ribbon Salad.) But, like Charlie Brown running at the football, I thought it was worth one last kick.

It wasn’t.

When I unmolded the candles, they collapsed like Mushroom Fluff. Then I had an idea. I mixed JELL-O with gelatin (a reader once recommended that to firm up JELL-O), poured it into a soup can, added in some cranberries and put it in the fridge, pretty certain it would work.

It didn’t.

The candle held its shape better, but was Tower of Pisa-ish. I’m guessing it’s a mass/density thing. Anyways, if you have a suggestion about how to make this work, feel free to leave a comment. And remember: keep open flames away from party guests’ hair. Nothing kills the holiday spirit quicker than burnt hair smell. I'm speaking from experience.

1 1-lb. can of Ocean Spray Whole Cranberry Sauce
1 3-oz. pkg. red, yellow, or orange fruit-flavored gelatin
1 cup boiling water
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 cup HELLMANN’s Real Mayonnaise
1 apple or orange, peeled or diced
3/4 cup chopped walnuts

Heat cranberry sauce, strain, set berries aside. Dissolve gelatin in hot juice and water. Add salt and lemon juice.

Chill until thickened enough to mound slightly when dropped from a spoon.

Beat in real mayonnaise with rotary beater till light and fluffy. Fold in cranberries, fruit and nuts.

Divide mixture evenly into eight 6-oz. fruit juice cans. Chill 4 hours or longer. Unmold. Garnish with real mayonnaise to taste.

To flame: Cut thin birthday candle in half to shorten. Insert into tops of cranberry candles. Light.

Here's the original advert.

I mean, c'mon. There has to be wax in that.

29 comments:

  1. I think we've all barely recovered from your last candle related post Brian! Mayonnaise??? Really?!?

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    Replies
    1. I know. Mayo and JELL-O is a new low on this blog. Would it help if I said it was lite mayo?

      Delete
  2. Your version does not appear to have any mayonnaise in it. Mayonnaise: the secret ingredient to firmly upright candles.

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    Replies
    1. Who knew mayo had that much mojo? I wonder if it also repairs flat tires.

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  3. Well this is disappointing. I thought you had discovered an alternative use for Jell-O as a fuel.

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    Replies
    1. If only. However, JELL-O and gas sometimes go hand-in-hand.

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  4. Are you sure the ones in the advert aren't made with Spam?

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    Replies
    1. I have my suspicions, Debra. It's either Spam or one of those gel Air Wick fresheners.

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  5. You just blew my mind with that one.

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    Replies
    1. I know, right? When's the last time you saw a blob of JELL-O on fire?

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  6. I've always thought this recipe was cheating. It's not a cranberry candle, it's some kind of unholy cranberry mess WITH A CANDLE STUCK IN IT. I say we form a protest line outside the Hellmanns factory.
    Thank you for reminding people about keeping candles from party guests' hair. I would imagine the amount of Aqua Net at a Caker party would increase the flammability enormously.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aqua Net? Please. I need the 24-hour hold of Final Net.

      I agree with you, Veg. It's technically cheating if there's a candle inside the "candle."

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  7. :D
    ...but did you eat it? Garnished with mayo?

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    Replies
    1. Oh, I ate it. Or tried to. You're not missing much.

      Delete
  8. Oh, my. I just looked up banana candles. That's a bit disturbing.

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  9. Seems to me the real caker way should of been to just stick a candle in the eggnog dessert...two birds, one stone.

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    Replies
    1. I like the way you think, Polly. One of those big, twisty tapered candles. The other option? Open a can of cranberry sauce, flip it over, let it slide out of the can and put a candle in it. Although, who'd eat an entire can of cranberries?

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  10. Maybe the recipe hailed from the days when everyone smoked (including the kids) and was intended as a communal lighter/salad course. I could see Granny leaning down, Pall Mall clinging to her coral lipstick to get a light from the beautiful Jell-O candle.

    God help me, I think I'm going to make this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's nothing more elegant than a granny lighting her smoke from a flaming tower of gelatin.
      If you do make it, take a photo. If you can get it to stand erect, I'll tip my hat to you.

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  11. Mayonnaise and jello? Really ? I'm feeling a bit ill at the thought..

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    1. Oh, come on. You've seen worse than that, haven't you? I mean, it could've called for JELL-O and tuna. Hey, I think I have a recipe for that.

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  12. Make jello - float some tea candles - refrigerate until firm and vwolla! Light those suckers up and you have the whole family gasping. Remember....I know about this craft stuff!

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    Replies
    1. That's a good idea, Melanie! Mind if I steal it and go on Dragon's Den?

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    2. If it sells...remember who your muse was!

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    3. I'll split the profits with. I don't know what you'll do with that ten dollars, but spend it wisely.

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  13. Other than a bit wobbly I think this actually looks pretty good Brian. Send this over to Martha Stewart pronto!

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    Replies
    1. She won't feature it. I don't think Martha is a JELLO-tower-with-a-candle-stuck-in-it kind o' gal. Although you never know. She might be harbouring a secret caker inside.

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