Monday, 3 November 2014

Tootsie Roll Squares

Let the caker record state: I can’t get with Tootsie Rolls. It’s not that I won’t eat them (they have sugar, after all), but I’ve never been able to figure them out. Are they supposed to be chocolate? Why so many sizes? How are they related to Tootsie Pops? And the whole poop resemblance thing – intentional or not?

For Halloween, I usually buy candy I don’t like. That way, I don’t find myself mid-November, eating four mini Coffee Crisps for breakfast and wondering why I can’t zip up my GWGs. This year, I bought a big bag of Tootsie Rolls. After four kids came to the door (none were in costumes and looked like they were in college), I turned to the nine pounds of leftover Tootsie Rolls and had an idea. (This was a big deal as ideas don’t happen often for me.)

I searched through my caker cookbook collection and found a recipe for Brown Cow Squares. Anyone remember this brown liquid? You mixed it with milk. I usually sucked it straight from the bottle. See what happens when caker kids aren't breast-fed?

I substituted Tootsie Rolls for the Brown Cow and you know what? My invention was delicious! The Tootsie Rolls got all gooey-like and were a nice compliment to the peanut butter. Now if only I had remembered to unwrap them first. Oh, well. I’m sure the wrappers will pass. Eventually. LOL!

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
½ cup soft butter or margarine
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
¼ cup milk
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup brown sugar (packed)
3 eggs
½ cup brown cow (see note)

Combine flour and baking powder. Cream together butter, peanut butter, sugars and vanilla in a large mixer bowl. Add eggs, one at a time, beat well, after each addition. Stir in flour mixture alternately with milk into creamed mixture. Spread half the batter in a greased 9” x 13” pan. Drizzle with half the Brown Cow. Repeat layers. Bake in 350° oven 35-40 minutes or until done. Cool. Cut into squares. Makes one pan.

Note: I laid out about 12 Tootsie Rolls per layer. MAKE SURE YOU UNWRAP THEM!

Yep, looks like poop. For other feces-inspired ideas, check out the always-classy Kitty Litter Cake.

Source: Centennial Central School Cook Book, Arva, Ontario, 1995

14 comments:

  1. What size tootsie rolls did you use?

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    1. I used the long, skinny ones. Although you could probably use any size. Except those foot-long ones. Those are scary.

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  2. So do they come out of the packet like that or have you artistically fashioned it into a dog turd? We don't have Tootsie Rolls - closest we get to that aesthetic is a Walnut Whip!

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    1. You have to mold them into the turds. And it takes a lot of talent because you have to be very good with your hands. So unless you have an artistic flair, I'd proceed with caution. I think I've seen a Walnut Whip once. Maybe.

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  3. I've never understood the lure of the tootsie roll either Brian, although these squares look highly edible. I'm also confused by the dog turd visual. Do you melt the tootsie rolls and then substitute the resulting goo for the "brown cow" in the recipe.

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    1. No, don't melt the Tootsie Rolls. Just place them on the batter (making sure you unwrap them). The Tootsie Rolls will melt in the oven. Then they'll harden up again. Then, when you place the leftover squares in the fridge, you'll come home, bite into one and almost break a tooth. I'm speaking from experience.

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  4. Those look delicious! And even though you used an existing recipe, I think you changed it up enough to consider it your own. Now you have something to A: Submit to your local whatever's community cookbook, and B: Something to make for the Bake Sale table at the Christmas Bazaar.
    Oh, yes, I'm looking forward to another year of Bazaar-O-Rama.
    Whoever made that Brown Cow commercial was heavily influenced by Pee Wee's Playhouse.
    Sigh. I miss those jeans. On other guys. Not me.

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    1. I know! I totally have to submit this recipe to my community cookbook. If only I had a community. Sigh.
      I started my church bazaaring this past weekend. I'll start posting my finds in another week. I bought something I regret. Asparagus Rolls. They were awful. Just goes to show that, sometimes, church ladies don't know what they "f" they're doing in the kitchen.

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  5. I may regret showing you this, but Tootsie has a recipe section on their website. http://www.tootsie.com/recipes/tootsie-rolls

    The ice cream topping sounds OK but I'm less convinced of the cheesecake.

    You still have Coffee Crisp in Canada? Those disappeared from our shelves decades ago. They're so light...there can't possibly be any calories in them.

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    1. You have to melt the Tootsie Rolls before you put it on the ice cream? Who has time for that? I don't know about that cheesecake, either.
      We still have Coffee Crisp here. They're so light, they're actually NEGATIVE calories. That means, the more you eat them, the more you lose weight. It's pretty awesome.

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  6. I have one thing to say about this recipe: waist not, want not! Sorry...

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    1. I go by another motto: "Waist not, want not, eat it anyway."

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  7. Tootsie Rolls are a candy version of modeling chocolate, which is basically a chocolate-and-corn-syrup-dough which can be used to cover cakes and make decorations. Toosties contain cocoa and milk and vegetable fats replace the cocoa butter that's present in real chocolate. You can knead and roll out tootsie rolls to make decorations. And yes, Tootsie Roll candy is what's at the centre of a Tootsie Pop. (Confession: I really like the fruit and vanilla flavoured Toostie Rolls.)

    I think you improved this recipe quite a lot with the substitution of the rolls for the Brown Cow. I don't recall ever having Brown Cow...I think we were a powdered chocolate drink mix family (Nestle Quick before is was 'NesQuick' in Canada, and Ovaltine). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPomlDLkkqs

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    1. I always thought there was an evil spirit at the centre of a Tootsie Pop. That's why I was always too afraid to finish one.
      P.S. I like the vanilla ones, too. But NOT the lime ones. Those are disgusting and should be banned.

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