Bazaar-o-Rama 13

Bazaar-o-Rama is my annual tour of church holiday bazaars!

Throughout the month of November, I travel around to as many bazaaars as possible and buy lots of shit treasures and post them.

The 2013 edition is now over, but you can check out my exciting purchases below.

You can also check out the 2012 Bazaar-o-Rama by clicking here.

Watch for the 2014 edition coming this November.


Week 1

Raisin Bran Muffin
I bought this to make up for the raisinless raisin bran muffin from last year's Bazaar-o-Rama. This one didn't disappoint. There were so many raisins packed inside, my mouth could barely keep up. I paid 50 cents for this.










Belly Button Duster
When I bought this, I said to the lady, "I could really use this." She said, "I didn't need to know that." It was 50 cents.












Pantyhose Doll Head
I remember pantyhose doll heads from my childhood, but no one else remembers them. So I always wondered if I dreamed them. Folks, the dream is over. She looks mean, though. I hope she's not haunted. Trust me - you never want to be anywhere near a possessed pantyhose doll head. This was one dollar.








Meat Pie
Looks like someone got all Martha Stewartson with her meat pies. This was $3.50 or two for $7.00 which seemed like a good deal to me.

I ate this and it was pretty good. Although it was pea-less. I think meat pies should at least have something green or orange in them to break up the brown.







Cut-Up Cake Party Book
One time, my mom made me a birthday cake in the shape of a 0. Because that's how many kids came to my party. I paid a quarter for this.











Week 2

Pickles
There are two things in life I’ll never make: mother happy and pickles. I figured these would be cootie-free on account of the sterilized jar, but the outside was sticky, which bothered me. The pickles had an aftertaste. I paid five dollars.








Hat
I bought this homemade hat for five bucks. You know what? It’s going to keep my head goddamn warmer than any five buck hat from Old Navy, m’kay?











Glass candle
I remember these glass candles from when I was a kid. And for 50 cents, how could I resist? The one downside – having to blow the curly black hairs off the wax.











Angel Doll
I paid one dollar for this, which I think is a steal. Just look at the artistry of that blue eye shadow! I’m giving it to mother and telling her it’s a Royal Doulton.











Jar opener
I have problems opening jars on account of poor hand-eye coordination. So this was a good investment. It was one dollar.












Irish Soda Scone
I've never had an Irish Scone before. I don't think I'll have one ever again. There wasn't enough jam in the world to make this taste good. Sorry, Ireland. I paid 75 cents.











Coat Hanger
My grandmother lived in Saskatoon and came to visit us one Christmas. I remember her wearing a hairnet and making these coat hangers. I guess talent runs in the family. This was $1.25.











Week 3
Frog Brillo Pad Holder
This lil’ guy is the perfect place to store your Ragu-crusted Brillo pads. It almost inspires me to do the dishes. Almost. I paid 50 cents.










Macrame Terlit Paper Cozy
We’ve all been there – you’re on the terlit and you run out of terlit paper and end up having to use your…well, it’s best left unsaid. Problem solved with this macramé terlit paper holder – and it doubles as a hat! I paid four dollars, terlit paper included. (Only it was 1-ply.)








Tree Toothpick Holder
We’ve all been there – you’re on the terlit with a big piece of turkey gristle wedged between your two front teeth. Problem solved with this decorative toothpick holder. And it matches my light-up ceramic tree! This was 50 cents.









Mug
I can’t tell you how many friends I’ve petered in and out of. This was 50 cents.












Snowman Ornament
This will make a perfect addition to my tree. If only he didn’t look, well, evil. This could be the second possessed thing I’ve purchased. I paid 25 cents.










Plastic deer
I don’t know why I bought this. I guess I felt sorry for it. It was 25 cents.












Chili Sauce
I’m a big fan of chili sauce. This wasn’t bad, but it was a little light on the tomatoes and onions. The woman put her name on the jar, so I’ll track her down and give her my opinion. This was five dollars. 









Egg Ornament
Folks, this is a real egg. Do you know how hard it is to make real egg ornaments? Just look at the artistry. It’s like the Van Gogh of egg ornaments. This was 50 cents.

What will I find for my final week of Bazaar-o-Rama? Check back next Friday, November 29!







Week 4

Scarf
I bought this homemade scarf for three bucks. You know what? It’s going to keep my neck goddamn warmer than any three-buck scarf from Old Navy. On second thought, you couldn’t even frickin’ buy a three-buck scarf at Old Navy, m’kay?







Pucks o’ Fudge
There are only two things I want to see in muffin liners: 1) raisin bran muffins that are packed with raisins and 2) fudge. I opted for the rum flavour. Obviously. This was $1.50.










Poetry
I didn’t buy these for the tea towels, but for the accompanying poem. I’m a big supporter of the arts. Note that these tea towels are supposed to look like britches. The poem makes more sense that way. This was two dollars.

Don’t be afraid to lose your britches
Pull out the ribbon and the stitches
Then you’ll see exposed to view
Two lovely dishcloths fresh and new




E.T. Dough Head
The woman explained that, although this was made of salt dough, I shouldn’t eat it. I’m glad she told me that as it was getting close to lunchtime. This was 50 cents.











Loonie Holder
Finally, I have a place to store all my money. And what you’re seeing is pretty much all my money.  This cost, not surprisingly, a loonie. Otherwise, there’d be three loonies in it.

(Americans: loonies are Canadian one dollar coins. If you ever come across one, don't try to peel the foil off to get to the chocolate. There's no chocolate. I've got the fingernails to prove it.)





Knitted Slippers
The lovely Mrs. Hunter, creator of Style Forage and collaborator on my Top 5 Caker Fashions, joined me on my final bazaar tour and picked these up for her son. Uh, could you get cuter for five bucks? I don’t think so.










The Merrie Christmas Drink Book
I bought this in preparation for my Caker Christmas party. That’s assuming people will come. If not, Mother and I will be all limbered up for our usual Saturday night game of Twister.

P.S. I think it’s kind of funny that they spelled Mary Christmas wrong. LOL!

That’s a wrap, folks! Bazaar-o-Rama is over for another year. But don't despair. Come back Monday for the start of my month-long Caker Cooking Christmas extravaganza!

57 comments:

  1. A belly button duster? You are *so* lucky!

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    1. I can't count the number of times I've said, "If only I had a belly button duster, my life would be complete."

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  2. What the heckins is a pantyhose doll head???

    And is that meant to be a moustache in top of the meat pie?

    Help me! I need answers!

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    1. You take some pantyhose and stuff it with cotton batten and then you glue some eyes on it and stitch in a mouth and a nose. Then you bless it so it doesn't get possessed.

      I think it's supposed to be a moon on the pie. But it could be a smile. Or it could be a gaelic symbol warding off evil spirits.

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  3. Thank you - however I now have even more questions blowing my poor confused mind...

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  4. I love the Cut up Cake Book. Now THAT'S a find!

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    1. Who knew there were so many shapes you could make with a 9x13 cake slab? Clowns, cars, life-size replicas of the Eiffel Tower. Actually, I'll be be posting one of the cakes for my Caker Christmas month in December. Keep an eye out for it.

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  5. This is a pretty awesome tradition you're working on. Thanks for the kick in the pants to get out there in my neighbourhood and explore those holiday bazaars. Maybe I'll find crocheted napkin rings or a Christmas doily. I'll keep you posted.

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    1. You should. They're lots of fun and they sure beat doing housework on a Saturday morning. Let me know if you go and what you score.

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  6. I, too, thought that was a mustache on the meat pie. Random!

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    1. But what kind of person would put a moustache on her meat pie? Hold on. Let me rephrase that.

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  7. Ditto for the moustache meat pie!

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    1. Good lord. This is turning into one of those ink splatter things. Next, someone's going to say they see a unicorn bathing in a stream.

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  8. I am Italian and I think you are hysterical

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    1. Grazie! Non è facile essere un mangiacake, ma faccio del mio meglio.

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  9. I remember those pantyhose dolls. Still as creepy as ever second only to the kitchen witch. Didn't know elderly cakers still made these. Glad ( or maybe not??) to see the craft is still alive.

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    1. Sadly, I don't the think craft is still alive. The doll head I bought looked pretty old. But that's not to say there couldn't be a pantyhose doll head renaissance. Hmm...my caker wheels are spinning...

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  10. I scored some homemade donuts and dinner rolls, a pair of hand-knit mittens and some feather earrings at our local bazaar last Saturday - all for about $10! ( I admit I passed on the hand-painted two-foot tall ceramic Christmas tree... even though the lights actually lit up!)

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    1. I have one of those ceramic trees, so I'll share it with you. Glad to hear you made out so well. I hope you save those feather earrings for a fancy occasion.

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  11. at least the hat was ok. Better luck for week 3

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    1. I have a feeling week 3 is going to be the best one yet. Fingers crossed.

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  12. A: Need a picture of you modeling the hat.
    B: Love that hanger! Will it be a Caker Craft that you'll teach us this year?

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    1. Hold on. I said the hat would keep me warm. I didn't say I look good in it. In fact, does anyone ever look good in a knit hat?
      If only I could teach you how to make that coat hanger. I can't even braid my own hair.

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    2. I think there is another craft begging to be taught here.
      A craft deserving of a competition.
      A craft deserving of the attention you gave to Apple Head Dolls.
      A craft involving discarded pantyhose.

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    3. I know. I've been thinking about it. So long as the discarded pantyhose aren't used, I just may do it. Stay tuned.

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    4. Then the doll head IS posessed.
      It has you in its power & will not rest until you enable it to reproduce.

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  13. Crocheted coat hanger is definitely a classic. And you found one in Christmas colours. Clearly you have good Bazaar karma!

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    1. It's actually green and orange. All of the colour combos were pretty ugly. I think it's part of the...uh...appeal of these hangers.

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  14. I've never made pickles either, but they look like they are missing something.....like the dill. Probably why they had an aftertaste. The sticky jar was probably from the jars not being wiped off after they were canned.

    I love the jar opener. I think I'm going to make some for the ladies I play Bunco with.

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    1. The jar opener looks pretty easy to make. Even I think I could do it. Although I'd be tempted to spraypaint it gold.

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  15. Wow, good mojo on week 2. Everything except the scone looks like a pretty good score. What is it about we prairie folk and those woven hangers? It seems we've developed a natural aversion to touching cold metal when hanging up the ol' parka after being out in 40 below to feed the livestock.
    Along the same vein as the polyester encased hangers, have you come across any of the poodle dogs knit around a coke bottle yet? Anyone remember those from the 70s? If you see one, buy it!!! They work really well as a door stopper.

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    1. You just wait until I post my week 3 findings. Although I didn't come across a poodle dog Coke bottle, I found something that's awfully close. I'll post it this Friday.

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  16. My heart breaks at the thought of your zero shaped cake and your complete lack of guests, Had I known at the time, I would have been a sympathy guest.

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    1. I appreciate that. But it wasn't all bad. As Mother pointed out, "Well, that's more boiled hot dogs for us."

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  17. I have a frog brillo pad holder. Yes, of course I do.

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    1. Weren't these all the rage? I mean, they were the height of sophistication in caker households everywhere. Good for you for having one. They'll come back. Someday. Maybe.

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  18. The plastic deer has that 'come hither' look, probably why it caught your eye. Love the mug!

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    1. The mug is definitely a keeper. It's going to fit all my rum and egg nogs perfectly.

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  19. thank you for making me laugh.. I love you...your mama is a trooper.. she is going to love the angel...

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    1. I think she'll love it, too. I'm going to make a sticker to put at the bottom that reads "Royal Doulton." Just in case she has any suspicions.

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  20. Your are getting more like your grandmother - she had a frog, and did plastic embroidery and bought dust collectors she thought was cute.. This is not a good sign.

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    1. Hmm. I think this comment might've been left by one of my Saskatchewan relatives. In my defence, I haven't started wearing a hair net. Yet.

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  21. Love the frog! There was one at my kitchen sink and many other friends and family's growing up. I was always jealous of those that had one with plastic eyelashes.

    I am so sad that you didn't enjoy your scone. I grew up on these almost every Sunday morning for breakfast. I feel I need to make you a loaf to redeem the Irish Scone name.

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    1. I'm sorry to say, but that scone was bad. It was like a triangle of purgatory. If you feel the need to bake me a loaf, who am I to stand in your way?

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  22. Hey Brian, it was fun bazaaring with you! And no, I don't think you could buy either the hat or the scarf for $3 at Old Navy. Good scores. I feel like we were surrounded with similar Caker stuff growing up--the frog brillo holder, the dough decoration, even the pantyhose doll. Your finds are like a stroll down memory lane!

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    1. It was a good time. And we might as well face it - we'll never never be able to escape our frog Brillo pad holder pasts.

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  23. I have that cake shape book! I love it! (She says, non-ironically.) It dates from my childhood, when I spent many a dreamy pre-birthday spell studying the cakes and imagining the possibilities: butterfly, balloon, scary clown, etc. All covered in tinted coconut. Somehow the book survived my parents' many moves, and got passed on to me, and I've successfully used it to fashion the teddy bear cake for my own kids' birthdays, minus the coconut.

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    1. Carrie, you are a lucky woman. We might be the only two people in the world who have a copy of this book. I made one of the cakes for an upcoming holiday post. And yes, I managed to screw it up. But thankfully, tinted coconut covers a multitude of sins.

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  24. That ceramic brillo pad reminded so much of a bathroom ceramic " statue" and I use the term loosely, that my parents' got as housewarming gift eons ago . It was a naked woman with uncovered boobs and I think you were supposed to put the soap in her lap. My sisters quickly made that naked ceramic lady decent by wrapping her boobs with toilet paper and a little tape. Thank goodness it saved my family a lot of embarrassment .

    Now, that crocheted toilet paper holder -hmm - that does catch my eye.

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    1. As far as I'm concerned, boob soap holders deserve a comeback. Almost as much as that monk statue. You know the one - you'd press his head and his, uh, devotion would come popping out of his robe. These are classy, timeless pieces. Now excuse me while I go write some haikus with my nudie pen.

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  25. Loved the Bazaar-o-rama!

    But…. WTF with the britches/towels? I just don't get it.

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    1. They're a little hard to grasp. Like many caker crafts. You inevitably walk away from them, thinking, "Now what was that supposed to be again?"

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  26. I was never ever scared of ET up till this moment!

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    1. You SHOULD be scared of E.T.! He's an alien, for god's sake. A non-edible alien.

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  27. Brian, that panty hose doll head looks an awful lot like your dried apple head of a year ago. Just sayin'

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    1. You raise a good point, Gumbee. It would appear that I'm drawn to things that have no teeth. I don't know what that says about me.

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