Bazaar-o-Rama 14

Hello, my caker friends! Welcome to another (and, sadly, final) edition of Bazaar-o-Rama, my annual tour of church holiday bazaars. Every Friday until the end of the month, I'll post all my wonderful finds, review the food and maybe tell you about some of the friends I've made along the way. (Fingers crossed I actually make some! LOL!) Join me on my bazaar journey, won't you?









Week 1
Pickled Beets
At $4.50, I thought these beets were a little rich. But then I'd sooner have someone else's fingers get stained than mine. The beets were okay, but they made my tongue all tingly. So I wondered if they were off. I haven't tried them since, but I will. If you don't hear from me next week, you'll know they were off.




Bird House Ornament
Folks, not only is this a work of art, it also has real bird seed inside! That way, if you get sick of Bits n' Bites over the holidays, you've got an another option. This was one dollar, which I thought was fair. Artisanal crafts don't come cheap









Morning Glory Muffin
I usually get a muffin and coffee after I'm done perusing the white elephant table. At this bazaar, they didn't have take-out cups. The only thing worse than sitting in a church basement pretending it's a café is sitting there by yourself. So I just bought the muffin. It was 50 cents. I don't think it was morning glory, though, as it didn't make my morning any more glorious.


Asparagus Rolls
These were about the wrongest things I've ever eaten. They were strips of white bread with cream cheese rolled around bits of canned asparagus. Ew. They also made my pee smell funny. These cost four dollars. I'm gonna need a second mortgage before the month is over.




Visa Card Holder
Imagine the next time you're treating your honey to dinner at Pizza Hut and you pull this out at the end of the meal. What a way to make an impression, player! This was two dollars.

What will I find next week? Considering I'll be shopping in churches, I think it's fair to say: God only knows. Come back on Friday!






Week 2
Egyptian Kleenex Holder
Imagine the next time you've got to sneeze while treating your honey to dinner at Pizza Hut and you pull this out! I bought this because it felt historical, like something you'd find in King Tut's tomb. Only I found it in a church basement. This was one dollar.








Tupperware Containers
We had these when I was a kid. I don't normally buy old Tupperware as I'm pretty sure people's cooties get melded into the plastic. But these looked new. There were four in the set, but the brown one looked like it had been chewed. It's always the brown one. These were 25 cents each.







Jarred Pork 'n Beans
I've seen a lot of jarred things in my day, but I aren't never seen jarred baked beans before. There could be a good reason for that. This was $2.50.











Bread and Butter Pickles
Speaking of jarred things, a caker aren't never come across a pickle he didn't like, especially bread and butter. They go well with white bread. These were a little oniony for my taste, but not bad. I paid $2.50, which I thought was reasonable. (Better than those beets from last week.)







Latch Hook Rug
Good lord. I don't know what this is. I'm thinking it's a chicken. I kept spinning it around, but the more I spun it, the more confused I got. Anyways, I'll give it to Mother and tell her it's a butterfly. This was one dollar.









Warm Cup Holder
Don't ever say church women aren't opportunists. They spot something they can make at home and next thing you know, a multi-million dollar business has been born. This was one dollar.

What will I find next week? I can't even stand the excitement! Come back next Friday.








Week 3
Eye-talian Donuts
I bought these at an Eye-talian bazaar and they were the driest donuts I've ever eaten. Plus they had weird seeds inside. I'm sorry, It-lee, but leave the old fashioned plains to the cakers. I paid two dollars.









Hardy Boys Books
The woman selling these had a huge box of them. She said they were collector's items. Alls I'm saying is that it took two boys to solve things that Nancy Drew figured out by herself. These were one dollar each.










Retro Glasses
Mother and I will bring these glasses out when we watch Mad Men. She'll have a Tom Collins and I'll have a Shirley Temple. I paid $2.50 for eight.











Shortbread Cookies
It ain't the holidays until I eat a dozen of these. I appreciated that the baker used half a maraschino cherry on top. There are cheapskates out there who only put on a sliver. These were delicious. I paid $1.75.










Literature
I love a good read and Tender Rebel by Johanna Lindsey sure looks like it provides insight into the human condition. Look at that flowing mane! Although I'm a little disturbed by how high up his hand is. I mean, her breadbox is right there. This was 25 cents.










Mabel's Whorehouse Mug
Speaking of breadboxes... I hope Mabel doesn't come looking for her stolen mug. This was 50 cents.

That's a wrap! This brings Bazaar-o-Rama to a close. I hope I encouraged some of you to check out a bazaar in your area. They're like life's potpourri.

If you want more bazaarin', check out my 2013 and 2012 editions for more wackiness.

51 comments:

  1. Wow, some great finds the first week Brian... pickled beets, yarn craft, asparagus rolls & a knit credit card holder.... all you need is a plastic rain hat and you're all set for you new life as an old woman!!! Incidentally I love asparagus rolls. Can't believe you thought they were all wrong! Although I admit that canned asparagus can be an acquired taste.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was actually looking forward to the asparagus rolls, but I wasn't expecting the asparagus to be canned. It was gross. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.
      As far as my new life as an old woman, I'm getting a perm tomorrow. Transformation complete.

      Delete
  2. Yes, $4.50 for a jar of pickled beets is a bit dear, especially if you'll need a side of Pepto. But, I have a burning question: why didn't you sip your coffee with Santa in the tea room?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HE NEVER SHOWED UP! That's how they lure you into these bazaars. You sit there and sit there in the middle of the basement, hoping and praying. I was there until seven o'clock that night. The janitor had to kick me out.

      Delete
  3. Colonel sanders would be deep frying those asparagus rolls and selling them at a pretty profit if only he knew tney existed #McCaker ( oh no - that's Ronald McStewartson...?!?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm. McCaker. I like the sound of that.
      I've always looked up to Colonel Sanders. That man knew how to rock a white suit like nobody's business. He also made a mean cole slaw.

      Delete
  4. LOVE the visa cozy...must have!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's very fashion forward. My new dilemma? Finding shoes that match.

      Delete
  5. Look at it this way, if your tongue is tingling it means too much vinegar was used-and that's your insurance against bacterial contamination. Usually. High acid foods can still make you sick, even if it isn't botulism.

    The bazaars are getting expensive these days. Was there a spike in the price of acrylic yarn or something?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the real reason for the price spike is they've clued in that hipsters are checking out bazaars. Every time the elderly see me coming, they jack the price up a buck.

      Delete
  6. The last time I went to a bazaar (bizarre?), my mom bought me a Christmas tree sweater. I may try to replicate the asparagus rolls to pay her back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds like a good plan. Put a little hot sauce on those rolls while you're at it.

      Delete
  7. That Visa Card holder really caught my eye . I wonder if I could find something like that here in Vancouver? I know my mom would love it and I showed it to my 24 year old son and I just know he'd love to get that for Christmas too. Fab find!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll sell you mine for $100. And yes, I take Visa.

      Delete
  8. Hey, we had those same 70s colored Tupperware when I was a kid too .Who knows Brian.. maybe by some twist of caker fate these are in fact the very same ones. They're really quite durable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There will be two things that survive Armageddon, Madame M: cockroaches and Tupperware. Oh, and Cool Whip.

      Delete
    2. AND CHER. Don't forget Cher.

      Delete
  9. Oh gosh, that latch hook rug has me dying. It looks like some sort of turnip to me. I'm sure the six year old that made it will be thrilled it sold.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think some poor soul started it and then got confused. They're not the easiest things to follow. What starts as a toadstool can up looking like a toilet plunger.

      Delete
  10. I'm rather liking that 'warm cup holder' thingy.
    We have a local women's co-op that makes trinkets for the tourists here out of yak felt & wool. I bet a hand crafted 'coffee cozy' would sell like crazy for $1 here. I'll have to break out my knitting needles & crochet hooks & get jiggy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm telling you, Bibi, there are millions to be made off those cozies. Get going!

      Delete
  11. Yes - I'm also seeing a root vegetable in that rug. But maybe that's just a state of mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That makes it official. It's not a chicken. It's a turnip.

      Delete
    2. A turnip state of mind...Didn't Frank Sinatra sing about that?

      Delete
    3. Actually, I think it was a cabbage state of mind.

      Delete
  12. I am pretty confident that the latch hook rug was made by a senior who was having experimental cocktail fun with their meds.
    Then again - maybe latchook ruggery is Adi Da's latest thing.
    The spooky psychadelia of that piece is powerful enough to be giving me an involuntary psychotropic experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be careful! Latch hook rugs can cause hypnotic states in some people. It happened to me once. I woke up a week later in Boca Raton wearing a muumuu.

      Delete
    2. Sounds good to me!

      Delete
  13. I love the warm cup holder cozy, but I'm a bit confused by the bling on it. Is that a cufflink?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think it's a cuff link, but that attention to detail is what sets many caker crafts apart.

      Delete
  14. Hi Brian....
    My daughter forwarded your blog link to me....
    Hallejulah! You are hilarious!
    And....Truth be told....I have one of those tiny bird houses....seeds and all!
    Bought it at a thrift shop in Grimsby.....gotta love it!
    And......I make lazy cabbage rolls!
    As a fellow blogger....I appreciate your research into every post.....
    Perhaps you should visit me.......eh Brian?
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'll come visit you anytime. I'll bring the bird seed for the little houses if you serve up the cabbage casserole.

      Delete
    2. We're still talking about the casserole, right?

      Delete
  15. Brian those Eye-talian donuts look suspiciously like tree ornaments. Are you sure absolutely about the donut part????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm. I never considered that. But they didn't have paper clips in them so how would you hang them?

      Delete
  16. My Dad was a printer and he used to bring paperbacks home for us that he referred to As 'Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys'. Aaaah - the 70's!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would totally buy a book called The Nancy Boys.

      Delete
    2. Nancy Boys = Shaun Cassidy & Parker Stevenson?

      Delete
    3. Yes. Only they wear blue eyeshadow.

      Delete
  17. I know we're supposed to be chuckling here, but I LOVELOVELOVE the vintage tumblers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those were a definite score. And they're in mint condition. I felt a bit bad taking them for that little money, but i got over it.

      Delete
  18. Crying with laughter, crying with sadness that this is the last Bazzar-o-rama.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So long as there are people in the world who enjoy knit slippers with pompoms, there will always be Bazaar-o-Ramas.

      Delete
  19. Perhaps Bazaar-o-Rama could be an enduring feature? A once-a-year checkin with your peeps so that everyone can confirm that, indeed, caker culture is alive and well. I mean for reals... that Kleenex holder? Classic. That bird-house ornament? Pretty much the embodiment of the caker craft. You've got an eagle eye (and iron stomach) that will be missed. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't mean to toot my caker horn, Jane, but I really do have a talent for finding these gems. Or maybe the gems find me. It's one of those chicken/egg things. As far as the Kleenex holder, I'm selling it on eBay. Egyptian artifacts go for, like, a lot of money these days.

      Delete
  20. Hafta say Jane has a point. Admitedly you must save your health & relationship (for surely this blog will have taken a heavy toll on both), but must you leave us entirely bereft?
    It cannot be denied that you do have special powers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I truly had special powers, I'd invent Caker food that tastes great with no saturated fat. Sadly, I'm just human.

      Delete
  21. I shall put a bid on that Egyptian kleenex holder.
    I'll be needing it
    to DRY MY TEARS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fifty bucks and it's yours. I'll even throw in a packet of 1-ply at no charge.

      Delete